Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When are your genitals available?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize