So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ttyl tear gas
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
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i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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