I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
