Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.