I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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