As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
then he tried to convert me to islam
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
