Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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  (248): Well apparently he's into motor boating. http://tfl.nu/kjue
  Replies (3) Good night (1392) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy

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  (904): So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5 (312): Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy http://tfl.nu/43t9
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?

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  (248): Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML? http://tfl.nu/ajh1
  Replies (106) Good night (23114) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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  (904): You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus. http://tfl.nu/zy6a
  Replies (37) Good night (4793) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!

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  (818): That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister! http://tfl.nu/bmda
  Replies (20) Good night (7033) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

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  (937): don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit http://tfl.nu/p5pp
  Replies (18) Good night (3788) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Im watching someone hooking up in the library

  (970): View more from Colorado

  procrastination at its finest

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  (307): Im watching someone hooking up in the library (970): procrastination at its finest http://tfl.nu/d7sa
  Replies (19) Good night (6256) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1703) Bad night (6598)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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  (317): If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation. http://tfl.nu/ifsj
  Replies (12) Good night (4989) Bad night (1851)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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  (915): and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house. http://tfl.nu/ztys
  Replies (7) Good night (3573) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  (770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8
  Replies (10) Good night (1074) Bad night (2793)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

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  (619): I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings. http://tfl.nu/ebym
  Replies (13) Good night (1851) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time

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  (913): Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time http://tfl.nu/0t2u
  Replies (11) Good night (1152) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

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  (774): Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual http://tfl.nu/ncxl
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.

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  (734): It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles. http://tfl.nu/qtkj
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (336)

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