Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.