I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.