Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
