Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wake up i wanna do it froggy style

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  (203): wake up i wanna do it froggy style http://tfl.nu/zmqx
  Replies (18) Good night (3023) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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  (503): He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat (1-503): Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby. http://tfl.nu/xtdn
  Replies (68) Good night (4018) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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  (952): What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there? http://tfl.nu/nak2
  Replies (34) Good night (1211) Bad night (1861)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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  (410): sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well http://tfl.nu/vcbo
  Replies (27) Good night (768) Bad night (4788)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.

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  (706): I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth. http://tfl.nu/hreh
  Replies (1) Good night (1387) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!

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  (610): Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?! http://tfl.nu/1su6
  Replies (9) Good night (2753) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.

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  (213): Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics. http://tfl.nu/j3g0
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Sidenote...no idea how to salsa

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  (502): Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing (502): Sidenote...no idea how to salsa http://tfl.nu/2bal
  Replies (2) Good night (1545) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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  (978): I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them. http://tfl.nu/nsss
  Replies (8) Good night (1594) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Strong work

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  (479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt
  Replies (1) Good night (1395) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it

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  (214): I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it http://tfl.nu/key8
  Replies (11) Good night (645) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.

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  (908): This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar. http://tfl.nu/pvsf
  Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv

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  (317): His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv http://tfl.nu/yd6c
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.

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  (734): It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles. http://tfl.nu/qtkj
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!

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  (519): Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night! http://tfl.nu/q7p9
  Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (198)

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