I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team