but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
