What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
