I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
