I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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