week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
