I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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