okay pat passed out under dana's car
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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