I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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