i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
