i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
