the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
