Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
