So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
