yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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