Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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