This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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