i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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