sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize