i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
