best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
