yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize