she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
