My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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