im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
