dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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