the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
