Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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