Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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