The maid of honor just puked.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize