i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
