I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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