Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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