thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
