The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We have started to decorate penises.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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