Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
