Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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