Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
