i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my being single is dangerous.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize