Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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