There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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