I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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