Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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