Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
