she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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