We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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