If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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