there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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