There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
