Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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