you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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