i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
