Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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